I planned This?

I planned This?

As published in the October 2021 issue of Eden Magazine

In 2009, my first book, Windows of Opportunity, was published.  It’s full of channeled information that was given to me via automatic writing from my Guide Group, the “GG.” 

One of the main points that the “GG” wanted to get across at that time was that we have the power and responsibility to plan each lifetime.  The way it was given to me was this…

“Picture yourself sitting at a conference table with many other entities.  You’ve known these entities for literally eons, and spent many different lifetimes with them in different capacities.  Some are beloved teachers and guides who are part of the meeting to advise you and make sure you are not being overly optimistic with what you think you can accomplish during the incarnation you are planning.  They love you.  They know your strengths and weaknesses.

Like an outline of chapters for a book, you and your planning committee will create a lifetime of opportunities for to accomplish all the things you want to accomplish.  You will even create back-up opportunities in case you don’t get it quite right the first time.  These opportunities for learning and growth are called windows of opportunity.”

From 2009 through 2015, I lectured, wrote articles, and gave workshops about how we plan most of what happens to us, and how to spot our windows of opportunity so we go through them closer to the ground floor instead of the penthouse; saving ourselves a lot of drama and pain.

In 2016, I was diagnosed with stage four ovarian cancer.  I had no symptoms to clue me in and if I hadn’t gone in for a pre-colonoscopy exam, during which the doctor felt something on my ovaries, I wouldn’t be here writing this article today.  I had an operation, went through chemo, and was in remission for almost three years when I was diagnosed with rectal cancer.  That meant another operation and more chemo.  My oncologist was as shocked as I was that I got cancer again, and she had me do some genetic testing.  Sure enough, I have the mutated BRCA1 gene, which is a strong indicator of ovarian and breast cancer.

All of the above is the “back story.”  This is no boo-hoo, I had cancer twice and now I’m on a chemo pill for the rest of my life, feel sorry for me story.  I’m sharing this now because I want to discuss how I had to put on my big girl pants and put into practice what I’d been preaching for all those years.  It’s easy to talk the talk, but much harder to walk the walk, as I quickly learned from this experience.

After the initial diagnosis, I went on line and researched ovarian cancer.  It was all doom and gloom and from everything I read, I would soon be dead.  I’m not going to lie, I felt sorry for myself for about 24 hours; and then I remembered everything the “GG” wrote about planning and responsibility and realized that I could not allow myself to wallow in grief, even though that would have been easier than trying to figure out the “why” of it all. 

I remember in hour 25 saying to myself that none of what I read applied to me, that I was a powerful being, and that I needed to remember who I am and that I planned this for a reason.   And that’s when the work started, and I it took me a long time to figure it out.  Well, I figured out some of it on my own, and some of it was pointed out to me by my friend, Heidi—our family and friends often see our windows from a different perspective and give us invaluable insight.

So, after much introspection, here’s why I believe I planned two cancers and a mutated gene for myself:   My lesson wasn’t about cancer, the cancer was a very hardcore window for me to truly understand our power and to use our power.  I’ve had other “power” windows in the past and I thought I had learned the lesson, but apparently, I didn’t learn it well enough. Cancer, for me, was definitely a penthouse window. 

At hour 25, I loudly and clearly screamed to universe that none of the doom and gloom I read about applied to me.  At that point I was manifesting my power and telling the universe exactly what I intended for myself—and that was to live.

I’m sharing my experience with the worst window of opportunity I’ve ever gone through because I want my fellow sojourners on this planet to understand that we are powerful beings, and that we have the power of choice, and the power to manifest what we desire.

With stage four cancer, I could easily have chosen to lay down and die, and Heidi pointed out to me that for years I have said that I would happy to leave this incarnation, and she asked me why I didn’t go—that opportunity was certainly there for the taking.   She brought up an interesting point, and it’s true that I’ve said that many times because I hate the violence and pain that animals go through because people chose to eat them. 

I thought long and hard about what Heidi brought up, and I realized that I declared to the universe I was staying the first time because my husband and I have many rescued cats that need to be taken care of, and the second time I made my declaration, it was because my husband nearly died twice in 2020 I needed to take care of him. 

I think this also illustrates the power that we have.  I had two clear windows of escape, if I chose to use them—windows I might have been happy to take at another time.  But things changed and I had important reasons to stay; not the least of which was to walk my own talk with regard to taking responsibility for planning these windows.  And so I let the universe know my intentions. 

As we’re planning our lives for each incarnation, we write the draft for our story.  As we’re living our lives, we are in control of how the chapters are finalized—we have the free will to alter our course.  My experience with cancer is just a small example of what is the power of us.  


Read original in Eden Magazine


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